Archive for July 2015

Thomas Dereks MP’s Church and State Mash Up – 1) Foxes

dezzerHello fellow believers it is I, Thomas Derek’s social and moral prophet for the age of religious enlightenment in West Cornwall.  In this first of my regular columns to this newly revived rag let me comment on the biggest issue of the day namely foxes. Yes that’s right, for far too long now those mangey gits have been roaming the streets of our noble burghs stealing our money and taking our jobs. Why just last week I was in Penzance when I was mugged by a gang of Lithuanian foxes armed to the teeth with teeth, they threw me on the floor and mauled me until I handed over my copy of “Hymns and Psalms for dummies”.  I understand that there are door to door fox gangs operating in the Gwavas area of Newlyn stealing peoples benefits and shitting on their lawns. So you know what enough is enough! I plan to arm every single person out there with a pack of wolf hounds and some heavy artillery. That will teach the bastards!  And you know what it’s not just me that believes this its in the bible Hebediah 3v14 “Forgot not the foxes of the field for they be of Satan’s arse, take them hence from the village and set about them with all sorts of heavy clubs and the LORD shall bless you”. Screw the beatitudes and that being nice to poor people crap, this is real work of the lord.  Peace out for now – Dezzer.