Archive for May 2013

WHAT IS ON? With Michael Smount

mmountA sizzling week lies ahead at the town’s premier arts and entertainment centre, The Conker. On Monday, at 8pm, John ‘The Plectrum’ Plectrum is returning to The Conker for the eighteenth time this year with his one man spectacular. John is well known in this neck of the woods for not being a singer, a songwriter or even a musician. Indeed, his vintage 12-string guitar, once played by Lead Belly, is only on stage with him to hold his £2 guitar pick with which he entertains, thrills, and bewilders the audience for up to three hours. You are advised to bring flasks of coffee and some fruit cake for the intervals which will occur whenever John, who is a martyr to narcolepsy, falls asleep. Flash photography is encouraged, and a retiring collection will be made in aid of The Plectrum’s retirement. Ticket on sale from the box office – admission £15.50 for adults, £22.50 for children, OAPs, and the disabled.
Wednesday sees the debut performance of Rivers of Blood, Streams of Discomfort; which will be, for one night only, performed by the playwright herself, Deirdre Clunt. The 2 hour play focuses on the themes of blame, hatred, gender inequality and menstruation, and will be performed in complete darkness, with appropriate odours sprayed into the air at key moments. Audience participation is required, and clothes are optional. This show is not recommended for people of a nervous disposition. Tickets: £1 per person. (Unless male, then tickets are £111.50).
Finally, on Friday the latest ‘big thing’ on the music scene, Violent Chang will be bringing their unique brand of electro-folk-funk-rock-techno-death metal to The Conker. While yet to chart, to release a single, or to be played on the radio, or to have actually performed together (or indeed met each other) the ten piece outfit are making waves in certain areas and at certain times, and this show is not to be missed. Except by me, as I have a prolapsed leg that needs some fairly urgent medical attention. Tickets available, blah, blah, blah…
Due to my ongoing mental issues, next week’s What Is On will be penned by my protégé Pamela Peter-Pairforth. Enjoy the entertainment!